Very rarely do I look at Ava and not think, Holy Smokes! Where did this amazingly beautiful little person come from? Or, Holy Smokes! I am a Mom!?! When did this happen and how did I get so lucky to get her?
It also applies to work. Holy Smokes! Our big event is in less than two weeks?!? Or, Holy Smokes! Why am I making so many mistakes and not even realizing it?!? I am not even hungover, yet I feel hungover?!? WTH?!?
Holy Smokes! I've actually been so depressed these last few weeks and don't know why. My mom always taught us that you feel the way you want to feel, so depression was never acknowledged in our house growing up. I appreciate that and have tried hard not to acknowledge it during my life. But lately, it has somehow creeped it's ugly head in. I deserted my blog this past week as punishment to myself for my depression. It's only been 9 days, yet feels like months since I last wrote.
I don't think of myself as a writer, that's not what this blog is about. It's to share what's happening in my life, with those that care. I love sharing what we are doing, what I find and how fast Ava is growing. And Holy Smokes! She is growing fast. My blog makes me happy.
I think being a working mom has started to take a toll on me. For my family, Holy Smokes! I am so jealous of the extra time Johan gets with Ava. Be it in the car on the way to school, or the hour they have together before I get home. I feel like, as the mom, I should do those things. This month is crazy for me, there are nights when I get home at 7. Johan has fed and bathed Ava, then put her to sleep. It breaks my heart to come home and she is sleeping.
She's still not sleeping through the night, and she sleeps in our bed (only my fault), so every move or breath, I am awake and it's starting to take it's toll on my work habits. Not good.
Holy Smokes! I need to wake up! A fresh start. Let's begin by talking about all the positives in my life.
Today was Ava's first school concert. Her school goes to age 5. The concert was the sweetest thing. The baby class, Ava's class, all the mom's came on to stage and showed off their babies. I had to miss the rehearsal, (Johan went, depressing) so I was a bit nervous. As we got to the front of the stage, our 2 year old nephew Juan, shouted AVA! Everyone cheered and I couldn't have been more proud.
The rest of the little ones danced and sang for the next hour or so. My niece Keira was a star! Out of all of the kids, her smile never once faded. Her personality shined like never before. She belongs on the stage. Holy Smokes!
Last weekend was one of my other nieces Baptism. Isabella. There were 20 people, including children staying at my parents house. Holy Smokes! In true Southern style, they were welcomed with open arms. Their house isn't huge, yet everyone fit and felt right at home. Isabella, along with her two other cousins where given to the Lord and it was beautiful.
Holy Smokes! My bosses love American products almost as much as I do. Thank goodness! My grandmother arrives on Monday because of that fact. This will be the second plane ticket, that is cheaper than shipping, for stuff my boss has ordered from the US. My sister Natalie came in April, read about it here, with a free ticket. Grandma Kernodle is 86 and amazing. I can only hope to be as active as her, when I reach her age. It is still surreal that she will be in my house, meeting my daughter on Monday...
I won a Blackberry Playbook! Yeah?!? Holy Smokes! Got a phone call on Wednesday congratulating me on winning and asking for my address. I gave it to her, not thinking or believing it would really show up. Then received an email. Checked out her company and saw it was legit. Then waited. Friday morning, the Playbook arrived at my work. SERIOUSLY. So what did I do? Sold it to my boss and am using the money to buy an ipad 2. I feel so guilty about it, but oh well. CANNOT WAIT FOR MY ipad 2. How did I win? I signed up for the contest on Blackberry SA on Facebook for the competition and actually won. Crazy.
Holy Smokes! Waiting on my BFF in the US to get off work and get home so we can pretend we are at a swanky, scratch that, anywhere drinking a beer together. Instead we will be Skyping, drinking a beer together. So excited.
Holy Smokes! Life is good.
Pics to follow. Here is a little Ava to keep you happy.
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| Last weekend |
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| Earlier this week, can you see her tiny pony? Holy Smokes! She is cute! |
Go Bokke!
(the South African rugby team playing in the Rugby World Cup)
Cheers!
Blair
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