It's turned into Autumn while we were gone, so there is a bit of chill in the air. Today I made Johan's favorite, potato soup. My body tells me it should be chili on the stove and the Panther's playing on TV, but that's not the case. It's Spring back home. Little girls are shopping for Easter dresses with their moms, while daddies are playing golf. Not watching football. It's a strange feeling, and I think it's helping fuel my anxiety about leaving Ava and returning to work.
I have two more weeks of maternity leave and the anxiety has set in. I know returning to work is the best decision for our family. For me, I need stimulation and interaction with adults to keep me happy. For our family, the extra money is nice. But Ava's happiness and well being is most important, which makes this decision extremely tough. And right now I have tons of emotions and questions running through my head. Is she too small for me to leave her? Will she think I abandoned her day after day? What if they can't get her to stop crying and I am so far away?
I am a strong believer in day care, always have been. She will be attending my mother in law's school so I don't have to worry about her not getting enough attention and yet, I am still anxious. There must be a reason schools only start taking babies from 3 months. And I think she is a calm child and should be able to cope. Plus they will teach her more than I could ever teach her on my own at home. I'm a child of day care and after school programs and I think I turned out normal. Well, somewhat normal. I wish this feeling would go away!
It's so hard for me to believe how fast 9 months flew by and now, the last 3 months. My little baby is going to nursery school in two weeks! Insert lots, and lots of tears and heartache...
Here are a few of the things that make our little house, home.
|Our lavender plants by our little front door. Thought I had lost the one on the left, but she is back and bigger than the one on the right.|
|My little herb garden, which has grown so much while we were gone.|
|Our busy little fridge.|
|Johan's not so little Kudu over the front door.|
|Our messy little office. Oh how I missed you, high speed internet. Shall we never part again.|
Enjoy the week ahead!